filed under: flotsam & jetsam
we had to put our beloved 12 year old dog kaiser to sleep yesterday. he was no longer able to walk and could not place any weight on either of his back legs. we had been lugging him around in a sling and harness for months now, at 94 pounds, because he couldn’t go on the stairs but was still able to use at least one rear leg to hold himself up. he just couldn’t do it anymore, and we did not want him to suffer any longer than he needed to.
in his robust years he was 20 pounds heavier, bold and protective, with a magnificent head the size of a mailbox. he smiled frequently, was very vocal when he thought something was unfair, or he wanted to eat our clementines. he walked like a tiger, all sinewy and sleek and when he had open space to run and you were lucky enough to witness it, it was one of the most gorgeous things you could ever see. i loved him as much as a person could love a dog, even though he truly tried my patience at times. you can see that from this photo taken a few years ago, before he had the surgery on his spine. i look like i am strangling him, which makes me laugh, until i remember that i can’t do that anymore.
i could blame my lack of blog writing for the last few weeks on this, but i won’t. i haven’t been writing because i am working on a new series of photographs for my etsy shop, and a photo collaboration with a dear friend. these projects have been occupying my time, taking precedence over this website, which makes me feel oddly guilty about not writing, but this is the way things are falling into place and i choose not to fight it.
today though, today i just don’t feel like doing anything.
there will never be another kaiser and i will miss him for a very long time.